Thoughts on Delivery

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As the time draws near, anywhere from 5 – 7 weeks to be exact, my birthing options are weighing heavily on my mind. You see, I’ve had two very different birth experiences, both hospital based.

My Son – Mattison
After just a few hours of excruciating labor pains I checked into the hospital and was immediately hooked up to all of the not-so fun stuff (iv, continuous monitoring, epidural, catheter, they broke my water) This list goes on and on of all the stuff they had me strapped up to, almost like I was heading in for some major surgery. When they finally told me I was ready to start pushing, I was shocked. I didn’t feel ready to deliver the baby. It was almost like saying “hey go pee in this cup”, when you have absolutely no urge to pee. Things went downhill quickly from there. I had nurses holding my legs, counting in my ear, getting angry with me for not pushing long enough…the entire experience was traumatic. Finally after 3 long hours of pushing I was angry, my doctor was agitated…she finally brought out the scalpel and vacuum. My poor body was sliced from one end to the other, my son had a suction cup stuck to his head and when it was all said and done I was bawling. Not from the pain but from the anger of the way I was treated. The pain following this delivery left me in the hospital for four long days, followed by months of healing and severe depression that took a long time to fully get over.

My Daughter – Kaydence
Six years later I was ready to attempt this again. I was horrified by the thought of another delivery like the one before and quickly chose a new OB, someone with more experience. After going to bed late one evening I was woken just an hour later by some mild cramping. I didn’t think much of it because I’d had it all week. But within the next hour my water broke right there in my bedroom and labor was on. To be honest, it wasn’t all that bad. I stayed home and was able to walk and talk through contractions that were a minute apart for hours. After my husband finally forced me to the hospital (notice FORCED) I settled in quickly. Again, hooked up to the usual (IV, monitoring, etc) I waited out the epidural a few hours but finally just had them give it to me so I could get a bit of sleep. A few hours later, I KNEW it was time. I could feel my body telling me my daughter was ready to come, it felt right. In ten minutes and 9 effortless pushes my baby girl was born. There were no angry nurses, no loud counting in my ear…and no scalpel. It was perfect! And I walked out of there in little pain in just 24 hours.

The Future
While my second delivery was more than I could ask for…it wasn’t what I dreamed of. During pregnancy, I watched a lot of birthing shows. But the one that really caught my attention was about a midwife in Florida that delivered babies in a birth center and assisted with home births. These women were experiencing birth like I’d never seen before…calm, peaceful, medical free, right in their own homes. That was the experience I dreamed of. But after further research, it turns out it’s not possible for me. Illinois still has archaic laws making it illegal for midwives here to assist in home births. Of course, if I were rich I could hire an out of state midwife to travel here, but I’m not. So what options does that leave me? 1. Hospital 2. Unassisted Home Birth

I considered option 2 for about 10 minutes but realized while giving birth is a natural process, I can’t risk mine or my daughter’s life for the birth of my dreams. I’m not a trained professional and while my mother has been a nurse for over 30 years, childbirth is not her area of specialty. So now I’m left hoping and praying that this experience goes as smoothly as before.

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  1. You have some excellent points that we’d love to hear more of. Please come join NewBaby.com and feed your blog to us. If you have a video camera- you can video your blogs and post them on New Baby as well. If you don’t have a video camera – let me know, we can provide you with a flip to help you vlog…

    Best to you and your family!
    Stephanie

  2. Oh my thoughts go to you … I have delivered four babies in the hospital and two at home and will deliver at home this time also! It is amazing. My hospital experiences were all slightly different but the bottom line the lack of things that were out off my control is maddening!

    As an inspiring midwife, I try to stay up to date on legislation regarding midwifery, or at least know where to look. So just a little information for you: In Illinois Direct Entry Midwifery is illegal BUT Certified Nurse Midwives are not and there are some that do home deliveries. My friend delivered at home in Illinois with a CNM.

    I only bring this up because there is nothing like a home birth — I found it so very empowering and so very wonderful for my whole family. The bond between my children (because they were a part of it) is amazing! I would just feel sad if you missed out on this experience … it may be worth looking at again. If there is anything I can help with let me know!

    With the delivery of our new baby coming soon and being 1000 miles from all family, we are thinking about our delivery and such too!

  3. I love your take on things and love reading your blog. Neither of my births were “dream” deliveries but they both produced me a beautiful son so, in retrospect, I can’t complain.

  4. I have had 5 kids and all the deliveries varied. My 2nd was my dream birth. From start to finish, labor and delivery was only about 2hrs. Totally natural and complication free. However, my others made up for it, lol. I could never deliver outside of a hospital. I am too afraid of what could happen if there were problems. I know you will choose what is right for you.

  5. Both of mine were delivered in the hospital and *IF* I ever have a third I will go completely natural and possible water birth. Both of my deliveries were fast and not traumatic so it makes me feel like I can listen to my body well enough to not be in a hospital. Plus the person who delivered my boys is a certified midwife/nurse but I’m not sure if she’s certified to do home/water births. Only time will tell.

    I hope this time everything goes smoothly, just really pay attention to your body and try not to have to many distractions, if at all possible do not get hooked up. The more you listen to your own body the better your experience.

    For both from active labor to finish it took 4.5-5hrs. It also helped me going to the chiropactor and getting a few massages.

    Sorry didn’t mean to type a book but that’s just me.

  6. No midwives in your area? Check for a doula in your area. Call the OB floor and ask the for a referral. Giving birth to a something the size of a melon, you can use all the support you can get.

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