Yes, that is the look of fear on my face, and yes, I’m in my pajamas, nothing else fits right now. Something really weird is going on with my tummy lately, I’m pretty sure she’s starting to drop down into my pelvis. But back to that fear…I can’t believe this but I’m starting to get really freaked out about going into labor. I have a million questions running through my mind right now.
Will I go early?
Will it happen on a weekend?
What time of day will it be?
Can I really handle natural childbirth?
What if I wait too long to go to the hospital?
What if it’s snowing really heavy?
I’m going to drive myself crazy with all of the endless scenarios running through my mind, most of which are out of my control, which I guess makes it even more exciting. That is part of the reason I’m so against inductions, besides the medical risks associated with it. Labor and birth is supoose to be unpredicatble. I actually love the last few weeks wondering which day will be my child’s birthday. I thought for sure Kaydence would come on her due date like her big brother. I even prayed (something I never do) that she would come before July came around. I lost my son Gavin in July. But somehow I think life just knows what you need more than you do. Giving birth to Kaydence on July 1st made that month such a joyous time for me, rather than a month of remembering the pain I endured years ago.
This is getting crazy exciting!